Anne

Everything is so unfair. I’ve never been so unhappy. I can’t imagine anything worse could ever happen.

And to think, a week ago I was so happy.

I walked with Louis. He touched my hand. When he blushed and moved his hand away, I grabbed his in mine and intertwined our fingers. Father would have killed us if he’d seen.

Though, looking back, maybe things would have been better had he seen.

Catherine actually did catch us together. She and Denisot, probably the most perfect couple to have ever existed, found us as Louis kissed my forehead. Louis pulled away from me, but Catherine is too smart. She may only be five years older than me, but while I’m such a fool, she shows none of my weakness.

Maybe it’s because her life is perfect. She and Denisot were promised when they were both so young. They tie together our strong house and his. Those matches aren’t always so happy, but my sister and Denisot have been married now for seven years and are still as happy as they were their first. And now I’m two years older than she was when she was married and I’m still unwed.

While I expected both she and Denisot to chastise us, or worse, tell Father what state she’d found us in, she smiled. Louis was from a fine house and she confided that she’d heard our parents talking about uniting our houses.

I remember thinking how perfect it would be.

How stupid I feel now.

She convinced me to come with her and talk to Mother and Father. Louis squeezed my hand. He hadn’t heard his parents talk of the match, but that’s not surprising. Until matches are finalized, those being matched rarely know. I guess it’s not our business who we end up with.

He squeezed my hand, and I was swept away back home.

Catherine and I called for an audience with Father. He was in good spirits and I remember thinking how it wouldn’t even take much convincing to get him to approve the union.

He called in our other sister, Symonne. She is only a year my senior. And I hate her.

Before Catherine or I could even speak, he announced that Symonne would be getting married. I thought it was so perfect. She could get married and Louis and I could as well, and we would all be happy.

And then I listened to what he was saying.

Symonne would marry Louis. My Louis.

Our houses would connect. But not through me.

Brief handholds and a kiss on the forehead were all I’d ever have from him.

Everything is cold. I can’t taste food. I haven’t left my room in three days. Not since he told us.

Of course, Symonne doesn’t understand my despair. And I hate her still, even though I understand this is not her fault.

She’s beautiful and perfect and I hear men are constantly trying to court her. So why should she have to marry the only man I have ever wanted?

Everything is so unfair.