Anula

Lakshmi sits across from me as we both craft our micaceous pots. The clay is soft in my hands and I can feel the pottery taking shape in my hands without much effort. I smile at my husband. We’ve been together for many years, but every day still feels so new. Like we’ve only just met, and we will have such a long road together. The thought makes me smile.

But now I must focus on my task. Though the shapes my hands create are much more elegant than Lakshmi, he finishes his creations with so much more extravagance than I can replicate. I concentrate on my design and try to let it flow out of me the way the shape so easily did.

I am distracted by Lakshami asking about the crease in my forehead and when I look up, he smiles.

Our village is growing, and a group of people move around us. I feel my heart twist. I have Lakshmi, but nothing else. Sometimes I feel so lonely without a friend or a sister. I mean, I have friends, but none so close I feel love for them. Every so often, there is a look in Lakshami’s eyes that makes me think he feels the same.

Sometimes when I dream, I see this silhouette of someone, and I am so drawn to her. Like she is a part of me. A sister I never had. A friend I cannot stand to be separated from. But her face eludes me and I’m never able to reach her.

How can it be that I can be so happy and content with all aspects of my life and be so incredibly lucky in my relationship with Lakshami and still be looking for more? Seeking someone who doesn’t exist. It makes no sense, and yet, it’s how I feel.

Maybe this woman just doesn’t exist yet and, in another life, or another place, I will find her. And perhaps there is someone similar out there for Lakshami. And once we find them, we will be a family and happy for all eternity.

Or perhaps it’s simply too hot today and I’ve let my imagination run away with me. I need to finish my micaceous pots. I’ve let myself get distracted and for what? A dream. Silly me.